Chapter 6: Thinking of the Person I Love in the Bathroom.

After parting with Sora-kun and returning home, I dropped my bags in my room and headed straight for the bathroom. The image of him soaring with joy after exchanging contact info with Minakata-san continues to stir my heart into a mess. If it was going to make me feel like this, I shouldn’t have asked for the reason.

On my first day after transferring, I overheard the exchange between Sora-kun and Minakata-san through the restroom door; it was easy to imagine that he harbored feelings for her. Right now, it’s just admiration, and Sora-kun himself sees her as someone “out of reach”—but it only takes one small spark for that to change into someone “within reach if I just stretch out my hand.”

As far as sparks go, a date between the two of them was more than enough.

I’m envious, and I admire her. Because Minakata-san, who possesses the possibilities I threw away, is just so helplessly, undeniably cute.

I stripped down to my underwear, took the girls’ school uniform I’d brought from my room, and held it up against my body, meeting the eyes of the “me” reflected in the mirror. A black blazer, a checkered skirt, and a red ribbon. …As expected, seeing those layers against myself feels somehow wrong.

Part of it is that I’ve been wearing the boys’ uniform for so long now, but that just means this persona has grown into me—an indication of how far I’ve drifted from “girliness.” My long black hair from before I started cross-dressing flickers vaguely in my mind; I comb through the air with my fingertips even though there’s nothing there to touch.

Just for now, I want to lean on that long hair my mom used to maintain.

As the hollowness inside me grew, I let the uniform fall to the floor and stepped out of my underwear. I entered the shower room and turned on the cold water, letting the spray wash over me as if to rebuild my crumbling emotions.

“Sora-kun… he was testing my reaction.”

He was hesitant, yet he tried to tell me about his date with Minakata-san. That’s just like him—he’s kind. He was likely considering both his feelings for her and his consideration for me, weighing whether he should report it and how to say it.

The fact that he even hesitated to tell me means he’s conscious of me to some degree… In that sense, it’s too early to give up hope.

Only—I can’t be the kind of girl who could say “I don’t want you to go” in a moment like that.

It would be presumptuous for a childhood friend who just recently reappeared to obstruct Sora-kun’s path to love.

I’ve lost my girliness; I’m no longer the “Yua of the past” that Sora-kun idealizes. I don’t have the right to hold him back.

I pressed my forearms against the mirror and lowered my head. I’m starting to loathe myself for being so incapable of being honest. If things go well between Sora-kun and Minakata-san, then I really will have to say “goodbye” for good. I’d be forced to let go of the daily life I finally regained after dreaming about it for so long.

…That said, as a childhood friend—putting aside romantic feelings—I should be cheering him on. If that day comes, I’ll just have to find a way to crush my feelings into silence.

However—I have one major concern.

From what I’ve seen, I haven’t felt even a hint of romantic interest or anything similar from Minakata-san toward Sora-kun. I can understand feeling guilty about treating him like a prowler, but usually, people don’t go out of their way to invite someone on a date—such a leading action—just for that.

Is she planning something? If so, what is her reason…?

I rack my brain, trying to scout her intentions from the few scraps of information I’ve gathered in the short time I’ve known her.

“…Surely not.”

A likely reason based on her behavior flashes through my mind, but it’s something I don’t want to think about—it feels far too conceited. Besides, thinking about it is useless. No matter how much I ponder, the answer won’t be found until the two of them actually go on their date.

Right now, there is still nothing I can do.